After the brilliant success of my novel ‘The Blue Bird’, I have been on a madcap promotional tour to flog the book. (I’m pretty sure, it’s made The Times bestseller list now)
And although, I did cop a bit of stick for my outfit! 🙀 (But us celebrities are used to fashion faux pas. Especially, this celebrity). Still, I enjoyed the ‘swag bag’ from the show, full of delicious food and tasty outfits.
And I must admit this worldwide fame has gone to my head. ‘Sic transit gloria mundi ’ is my middle name. Yes, everyone wants a piece of Tibbs.
Which has led to a rather unfortunate incident of treachery, betrayal and the kind of jealousy that I, myself, have struggled with, in the past.
I’m happy to meow, that I am no longer afflicted with the issue, much to the delight of my Babes. I am in complete control of my emotions concerning the love of my life.
Yet the rumour mill has run rampant with the most outrageous fake news that can ever be reported without ending up in libel court.
They are claiming that my lovely wife, Cleopatra, has left me! 🙀. And if that isn’t bad enough, they meow that she has taken up with a dastardly Lothario named Rocky.
Now, everyone knows that this tittle-tattle could only come from an envious prevaricator who has a problem with the happiness that Cleo and I share.
I cannot really blame them, as the two of us have a powerful connection which is frightening for those who are confounded by our devotion.
Why, just, the other day I gave her one of the treats from the swag bag! 🙀 She didn’t ask for it nor did she share it back with me. Did I complain? I did NOT. But that is the kind of considerate paramour I am.
Yet, I have spent a good deal of this press junket denying that there is trouble in paradise. I suppose it does not help that this Rocky character has been photographed taking my Babes to their local Cat Cafè for a Lick-e-lix Latte.
So, I have decided it is in my best interests to prove my love for Cleopatra and do anything she asks of me. I shall slay dragons . . . (One of the swag bag outfits, I might add).
I shall capture the moon . . . (I’m an artist at heart).
I shall give up flirting . . . THUD! (Just the thoughts . . .)
Whatever my Babes wants, I will not only complete the task, I shall do so with a brave heart and a chivalrous sense of honour. (Role playing is always exciting).
“A turkey dinner with all the dressings coming up, Babes!
Nothing meows, ‘I love you’ like a turkey in a thong! Love you, Babes! 😻😻
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
Once inside the apartment Tabitha picked up the phone and dialed Magic’s number. She meowed, “I’ve got a proposition for you.” She listened and smiled then continued, “Tibbs is here. Come over and we might be able to work out a deal.” She paused briefly before continuing, “Drop by my place and we’ll see what we can do.”
Tabitha gave Magic her address and watched as Tibbs began pacing nervously again. Once she hung up, he stopped. She told him, “He’ll be right over. You still, want me to believe you don’t know Magic?”
“I . . . That is . . .” Tibbs stumbled over his meows.
Tabitha decided on another tactic, “Let me tell you about another client of mine. Without naming names, I once had a case involving a very handsome Tom who spent most of his time flirting with felines. The client had no idea that he was flirting, he just kept doing it whenever he didn’t want to tell the truth. He thought he was being clever.” Tabitha met and held Tibbs eyes.
Tibbs looked away first and asked, “That’s an interesting story but what does it have to do with me?” Then without a second to draw breath Tibbs added, “You look extremely pretty tonight, Tabs Babe. This detecting game suits you.”
There was a knock at the door so that Tabitha did not have time to respond to the black cat’s pathetic attempt at charm which naturally oozed out of Tibbs. Instead, she answered the door and brought Magic into the room.
Magic kept a weary distance from Tibbs but addressed Tabitha. “ ‘The Tail’ is watching the building.”
This made Tibbs jump and scamper to the window. With paws on the sill, he meowed, “Who is it? What’s he doing?”
Magic smirked knowingly. This was exactly the reaction he hoped to illicit from the huge black Tom. “How nice to see you again.” He directed at Tibbs.
Tibbs glanced at Tabitha to see if she took note of Magic’s meows. He could not tell so he blustered on, “Tabs told me you offered her a lot of treats for the . . . Bird. Do you have the treats now?” Tibbs knew perfectly well Magic did not.
“I can get them here.” Magic replied quickly. “I’d like to see the Bird with my own eyes first.”
“I don’t have it.” Tibbs narrowed his eyes. He was prepared to play the game. “Reginald had it. It’s wherever the rabbit put it.”
“Where is Reggie?” Magic wanted to know.
Tibbs shrugged.
“Tell me!” Magic’s back began to arch.
Tibbs sidled up to him as he meowed, “You tell me?”
And that began a hissing and wrestling match which Tabitha sat back and watched.
She let them go at each other for a full 5 minutes before finally separating them. The two Tom cats sat breathing heavily in opposite corners of the room.
Another knock on the door broke the suspicion and tension between them.
Tabitha answered the door once more and preceded Bella into the room. By the time they reached Magic and Tibbs the boys had continued their fracas.
Bella barked, “Who are these felines?!”
********
Bella and Tabitha allowed the Toms to roughhouse some more. Then Bella stepped up and barked at them causing the cats to scatter. “Stop it!”
Magic fled to the furthest corner and rubbed his ears. “He attacked me!” He told everyone in the room.
“I had to mark him with my claw! I’m no pushover-over!” Tibbs insisted, “But he started it!”
“Fibbs!” Magic shot back.
“Don’t call me that!” Tibbs’ back arched upwards.
Bella looked from one to the other! She finally faced Magic and asked, “Why are you here?”
Magic took a big gulp and continued to lick his paws and rub his ears. He needed the time to think of a plausible excuse. “These two, obviously, called me here in order to ambush me. I have brofurs, I know what that’s like but I didn’t expect it of Miss Tabitha. Who knows what might have happened to me, if you hadn’t arrived? I’d, probably, go missing like Reggie and that other detective. They’re in it, together!” Magic pointed his claw between Tibbs and Tabitha.
Bella let out a soft growl. “I want the truth!” She demanded.
Tabitha finally decided enough was enough. She confessed, “Everything can be explained.”
“Do so . . .” Bella bid.
“I was hired by Tibbs, here.” She indicated the fat, black cat doing his best to exude confidence but failing miserably. “Magic is a friend of Reggie and I assumed he would be willing to spill the beans about what happened to the rabbit and Skittles.” Tabitha explained further.
Bella’s eyes bore into Magic. “Where’s Skittles?” She asked. Magic merely nodded, to go along with the story, but he refused to elaborate any further.
Tabitha began to laugh. Everyone else in the room looked at her as if she had lost her mind.
Bella asked, “What’s so funny?”
Tabitha stepped closer to Bella and meowed, “He doesn’t know anything.”
“Of course, I don’t.” Magic confirmed.
“Why meow that he knows where Skittles is, then?” Bella wondered.
“We wanted to see how much of this silly story you would believe.” Tibbs answered. “It was my idea. Silly stories are my stock in trade.”
All the cats began laughing. Bella did not find any of it remotely amusing. She let out a slow growl.
“Maybe I should put this ridiculous story on my blog? ‘How 3 Cats Made a Fool of a D O G.’ I’m sure it would break the internet.” Tibbs continued to snicker and snort.
“Mol . . . It might look bad for dogs everywhere.” Magic added. “Mind you, dogs are people pleasers and need to be taken down a peg.”
Tabitha watched her boss as the ribbing continued.
Finally, Bella got fed up and growled, “I want their names and addresses. So I can have them both investigated thoroughly.
“I’m staying at the Hotel Catchpole.” Magic offered up.
“Fat boy?!” Bella bared her teeth.
“Anything you want to know about Tibbs, you can ask me!” Tabitha stood up to her boss. This did not please Bella.
Bella grabbed Tabitha’s tail and seethed, “Be very careful, Pussycat! I’m still your boss . . . for right now.” And with that Bella headed for the door.
As soon as the Bassett hound left, Magic meowed, “If the party’s over . . . I’m going too.”
Once he shut the door, it left Tabitha alone with Tibbs in her apartment.
*Holy Moly . . . Find out WTFLOOF that was about next week!
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
Today I’m starting a new mystery story for you all. Each week I shall post a chapter to keep you, my loyal fans, entertained. I hope you enjoy this exciting tale!
Chapter 1
Private Eye, Ms Tabitha, works for the Deeds Done Doggone Dirt Cheap detective agency. She’s a pretty tabby with a determination to get to the truth. Her branch office is open to all and she will take on all cases.
The day in question found her at the desk. Her secretary (& brofur, Rocky) knocked on the door to her office. “Yes?” Tabitha inquired.
Rocky stuck his head into the office and meowed, “There’s a Tom here to see you. Name of Tibbs.”
Ah, an active case. Tabitha had not had much to do these last couple of days. “Send him in.” She bid.
Rocky led an enormous black, domestic shorthair through the doorway. As a bit of a Twitter celebrity, everyone knew of Tibbs, so Rocky was a bit in awe of his idol.
Tabitha shoo-ed her brofur out the door and motioned towards the cat bed. “Have a seat, Mr. Tibbs.”
Tibbs had a sniff of the bed and finally plopped onto it.
“What can I do for you, this fine day?” Tabitha was anxious to get this case underway. She knew that Bella, the big Boss, would be impressed by the notoriety a case such as this would bring to the agency.
“I’d like to hire you to find my sisfur, Patches.” Tibbs began. He bit his lip nervously but continued, “She-😈 is a bit of a ‘fluff ball’, troublemaker, as you might know. I fear this time, she may have gotten in over her head.”
“Patches? Patches?” Tabitha ruminated. “The name sounds familiar but there are loads of cats who go by that name. How will I know her?” She needed further information and got out a pen and paper in order to make some notes.
“Oh, you can’t mistake my sisfur . . . She’ll be the one surrounded by Nip fumes.” Tibbs explained. “She went off on a bender and I haven’t seen her for days. Our human is away at the moment and left me in charge. Patches is Mom’s favourite. If I don’t get her back before the human comes home, I may not receive any more treats! I can’t have that!”
Tabitha’s eyes widened! This was serious. “She has a thing for a certain grey and white BSH, doesn’t she?” Tabitha asked and at the answering nod, she continued with, “When, exactly, was the last time you saw her?”
Tibbs’ fur bristled. “I heard she was at the Feline Furriend Inn. So, I went in search of her there but when I knocked on the door of the room she was supposed to be occupying, a cheeky, wild-hared, grey, rabbit named, Reginald, answered the door. He claimed to have never heard of Patches. But EVERYONE knows Patches! When I pushed him for more info, he finally admitted that she had been there but was not there now. He did mention that she was happy and well but didn’t want to see me or anyone!”
“Not even LG?” Tabitha remembered the details regarding this cat’s obsession.
“That’s what I asked.” Tibbs admitted. “Reginald didn’t seem to know who LG was!”
Before Tabitha could react to this shocking bit of news, in walked her #DDDDC partner, Skittles.
“Well, hello there, Tibbs.” She seemed to know the new client too.
“Skittles, Babe . . . I didn’t know you still worked for #DDDDC.” Tibbs winked at the multi-coloured American shorthair, with piercing green eyes.
“What’s going on?” Skittles was also a dedicated detective. In fact, she was dogged (🙀) in her pursuit of helping to ferret out the truth.
“Tibbs’ sisfur, Patches, is on a bender . . .” Tabitha began to explain.
“Again?” Skittles interrupted.
“I need to find her.” Tibbs blinked a few times in Skittles’ direction.
Skittles blushed and asked, “Do you want ME to tail her?”
“If you would. I overheard Reginald making a date with her for tonight. If you could follow them and tell me where they end up, I’ll be able to pounce on the She-😈 and drag her home.” Tibbs turned the charm on, full blast, and directed it towards Skittles while Tabitha sat back and watched the train wreck. She had heard about the power of Tibbs flirting. She was not going to be sucked in by it.
Tibbs paid 50 treats and left the detectives to sort out the details.
“Sorry, if I butted-in on your case, Tabs. But that Mr. Tibbs is hard to resist when he pours on the charm.” Skittles apologized.
“Yes, some kitties cannot handle the onslaught. You take the lead, if you like. But be very careful. Tibbs is a known philanderer.” Tabitha warned as she popped 5 of the treats into her mouth. They were good.
“I’ll put the rest of our payment away before you eat all the profits.” Skittles remarked as she placed the treats in the office safe.
Tabitha growled but the annoyance of the partnership festered. It might be time to put an end to this affiliation?
*********
Tabitha worked late that night. She sat chewing her claws and looking out the window of her office. Her mind replayed the events of the afternoon’s visit from Tibbs and everything leading up to this very moment in time.
The phone rang, startling her. As she was alone, having sent Rocky home for the night, Tabitha answered the phone “Deeds Done Doggone Dirt Cheap Detective Agency, Private Eye Tabitha meowing . . . How can I help you?” She listened for a moment and continued. “Yes, Skittles is my partner. Are you sure? I’ll be right there!”
Tabitha flew out of the office, nearly forgetting to lock up. Fifteen minutes later she found herself in an alley outside the Feline Furriend Inn. Scraps of food and treats were scattered everywhere but no signs of Skittles, Patches, Reginald or Tibbs.
The hotel detective sniffed around the alley as Tabitha approached. Sammy, the tan coloured, domestic Tom nodded in her direction.
“Are you sure they’ve all gone?” Tabitha needed to know the truth.
“They have disappeared.” Sammy answered.
“All of them?” Tabitha inquired.
“Yep.” Sammy began scooping up what was left of the treats. No need for them to go to waste.
Tabitha watched him closely as she surveyed the scene of the crime. “I better let the Boss know.” She finally meowed. Tabitha took out her iPhone and rang the programmed number. “Rocky, do me a favour . . . Call Bella and ask her to meet me at my place. There’s been a development. Give me a couple of hours before you call her, though.” She listened to Rocky complain about the hour and how his nap was interrupted, then she meowed, “ Just do it!” And hung up.
Tabitha turned to Sammy and meowed, “I’ll have a look around here. You go back to the hotel.”
Sammy nodded and replied, “I’ll be at work until the morning, if you have any further questions.”
“Righty-O. That’s purrfect.” Tabitha watched as he sauntered back to the Inn where he was the in-house detective. She began rummaging around the trash cans.
********
Hours later, Tabitha finally let herself into her flat. She went straight to her stash of nip and indulged in the calming aroma.
“What happened tonight?” The question made Tabitha jump.
“Who . . . ?” Tabitha narrowed her eyes towards the darkened corner of the room.
Bella, the Bassett hound and her Boss at #DDDDC, emerged into the dimly lit room. “Where’s Skittles? I can’t get in touch with her.”
“She’s disappeared.” Tabitha repeated the information she had been given.
“You better find her!” Bella growled.
“I have the Tibbs case to look into.” Tabitha reasoned.
“Skittles is your partner. You’d be advised to find her first.” Bella was keen to look after her employees.
Tabitha moved away from the nip and meowed, “I think Skittles’ disappearance is connected to the Tibbs case. If I solve his case, I’ll be able to find Skittles.” Tabitha explained in a rational manner.
“I don’t like this. Finding Skittles should be your priority.” Bella took out a pipe, stuffed some of the catnip in it and lit it up.
“I’ll find her. But this other case is very intriguing.” Tabitha admitted.
“If you meow so. By the way, where have you been? Rocky called me ages ago, to tell me to meet you here.” Bella began to feel lightheaded with each puff.
“Oh . . . I . . . I’ve been walking around trying to clear my head and think about what could have happened tonight.” Tabitha answered unconvincingly. She purposely omitted to tell the Boss that she had gone to Reginald’s room in order to gets some answers as to the whereabouts of Skittles. She had to sneak into the room via an open window and knew this was cat-like behaviour that Bella would never approve of.
Instead, she put on a false smile and walked Bella to the door as she told her Boss, “I’ll get to the bottom of this mystery.”
Make sure you come along next week to see what happens!
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
Could this new suspect be the culprit? Read the next chapter to find out!
Chapter 7
I fled (okay, ‘waddled’) out of the dressing room and ran into Kobe, another extremely handsome black panfur. He ran, willie-nillie throughout the hallway.
“Just the Tom I was looking for . . .” I greeted my pal. “What are you doing Kobe?”
“I can’t find my favourite toy.” He continued to search in every crevice.
“When did you see it last?” This question proved that one day, I could be a great detective too. It wasn’t so hard to make these probing enquires.
Kobe sat up and thought about it.
“Ummm . . . I think I remember having it when we did the show. But it’s all a bit fuzzy. I did pawty-hardy with Patches that day.” He admitted.
“What does this toy look like.” I continued.
“It’s an old rainbow, filled with nip. It truly is the one toy I never want to be without.” Kobe admitted.
“Come with me, lad.” I crooked a claw at him and we re-entered LG’s dressing room.
I led the way but once inside I stopped in my tracks causing Kobe to smack into the back of me.
There, on the floor, rolling on a nip toy was none other than Monsieur Joues De Guimauve. The fact that Patches sat on the table which should have been surrounded by the lighted mirror and sneering disgustedly at the BSH, really threw me for a loop.
Kobe regained his balance and let out a “Ack . . .” He ran forward and joined Monsieur in a roll about. “Come join us, Patches!” He invited
“I’ve given up the nip!” She meowed forcefully.
This caused us all to suck in the air deeply. My head began to spin after a gobful of the spiced fumes that permeated the room. “Holy Moly . . . The world has gone mad!” I could not help observing.
Kobe recovered quickly to meow, “More for me.” He dove in beside Monsieur and once he saw the toy he sought, he exclaimed, “My rainbow!” And sure enough the nip-filled toy lying on the floor, between the two of them, was indeed a rainbow.
“How did that get there?” I wondered aloud.
Monsieur Joues De Guimauve seemed uninterested in the answer but Patches’ ears twitched uncontrollably.
Kobe sat up and meowed, “Oh, I remember . . . I gave it a fresh dose of nip and offered it to LG as incentive to return to the set while we were taping the game show.”
“Aha!!!” Monsieur whooped. “I think we ‘ave found zee culprit, at last.” And with that he and Kobe got into a noisy wrestling match.
The tussle broke up quickly as Kobe ran out of the dressing room chasing a red dot.
“Mon Chat . . . He’s getting away!” Monsieur Joues De Guimauve exclaimed as he pounced towards the door.
I nearly RAN after them both when Patches yowled, “Let him go!”
Monsieur and I turned to see She-😈 push away the ‘red dot’ controls.
“He’s not the one!” Patches purred.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
Monsieur twirled his moustache and flicked his ears at my sisfur. It seems he was willing to abide by Patches’ wise counsel.
“Where were you that fateful day?” Patches turned on me!
* Could Tibbs be the next suspect? Or is Patches merely throwing everyone under the bus, so she does not get caught? Stay tuned for the next chapter and find out!
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support of my writing is much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
Yes, the story of ‘Tibbs & The Holy (Moly) Quest’ is now available!
For those who want to read my latest adventure, all you have to do is donate (at least $15) here . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/ There are two options . . . Stripe or PayPal (scroll down for this link) and I will have the staff send you the link and password for the story.
As an added bonus, I have included a couple of videos (links to YouTube) which I have written, directed and produced for your viewing pleasure. I know some people have trouble seeing the videos on my blogs. To fix this problem, I managed to make the videos private so that only those with the link can see them.
If there are any questions, you can always DM me on Twitter (as it’s where I spend most of my time) @JoyOfCats or message me and I shall walk you through the process.
I have to admit that this is my best work to date! There are many of my cat furriends who make an appearance. Some you will know, some you might not but they are all stars as far as I’m concerned. And the movie at the end, should really be considered for an Oscar (but you know Hollywood . . . It can be a closed society to us black cats 🙀). I don’t expect them to come calling any time soon, unless of course, my loyal and faithful audience demand more from Tibbs!
For my part, I promise to continue to entertain you to the best of my ability. This is a very exciting time. You don’t know what it means to be able to share my work with everyone! It gives me much pleasure to make you all smile.
And I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has supported me through this creative endeavour. Without you, I would be a sad, lumpy, thong-wearing feral, trying to pick up the closest feline. Instead I’m a happy, lumpy, thong-wearing Tom . . . who is privileged enough to flirt with all the lady kitties. 😺
I hope you all enjoy the WebNovel as much as I enjoyed writing it.