After the brilliant success of my novel ‘The Blue Bird’, I have been on a madcap promotional tour to flog the book. (I’m pretty sure, it’s made The Times bestseller list now)
And although, I did cop a bit of stick for my outfit! 🙀 (But us celebrities are used to fashion faux pas. Especially, this celebrity). Still, I enjoyed the ‘swag bag’ from the show, full of delicious food and tasty outfits.
And I must admit this worldwide fame has gone to my head. ‘Sic transit gloria mundi ’ is my middle name. Yes, everyone wants a piece of Tibbs.
Which has led to a rather unfortunate incident of treachery, betrayal and the kind of jealousy that I, myself, have struggled with, in the past.
I’m happy to meow, that I am no longer afflicted with the issue, much to the delight of my Babes. I am in complete control of my emotions concerning the love of my life.
Yet the rumour mill has run rampant with the most outrageous fake news that can ever be reported without ending up in libel court.
They are claiming that my lovely wife, Cleopatra, has left me! 🙀. And if that isn’t bad enough, they meow that she has taken up with a dastardly Lothario named Rocky.
Now, everyone knows that this tittle-tattle could only come from an envious prevaricator who has a problem with the happiness that Cleo and I share.
I cannot really blame them, as the two of us have a powerful connection which is frightening for those who are confounded by our devotion.
Why, just, the other day I gave her one of the treats from the swag bag! 🙀 She didn’t ask for it nor did she share it back with me. Did I complain? I did NOT. But that is the kind of considerate paramour I am.
Yet, I have spent a good deal of this press junket denying that there is trouble in paradise. I suppose it does not help that this Rocky character has been photographed taking my Babes to their local Cat Cafè for a Lick-e-lix Latte.
So, I have decided it is in my best interests to prove my love for Cleopatra and do anything she asks of me. I shall slay dragons . . . (One of the swag bag outfits, I might add).
I shall capture the moon . . . (I’m an artist at heart).
I shall give up flirting . . . THUD! (Just the thoughts . . .)
Whatever my Babes wants, I will not only complete the task, I shall do so with a brave heart and a chivalrous sense of honour. (Role playing is always exciting).
“A turkey dinner with all the dressings coming up, Babes!
Nothing meows, ‘I love you’ like a turkey in a thong! Love you, Babes! 😻😻
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
‘The Tail’ exhausted himself with all the escape attempts and promptly fell asleep. The others let him snooze.
Tabitha stepped forward and meowed, “Are we all agreed? ‘The Tail’ is the ‘Fall Tom’?”
Eager nods were her answer, except for Whiskers. Tabitha waited for him to agree. Finally, and reluctantly, he nodded.
“We’ll have to get our story straight for Bella and the authorities. Tie up the loose ends like, why would ‘The Tail’ catnap Skittles and Reggie?” Tabitha paused and glanced at each face individually. “Can we come up with a plausible reason?” Tabitha wanted their stories to match.
Tibbs answered, “I can always meow that Reginald and Pumpkin were in it together and were both after Patches but Skittles got in the way. We all know Reginald is desperate for a lady furriend. Cat knows, you’d have to be desperate to go after the She-😈.”
“That might work.” Tabitha agreed. “Can we connect them to ‘Muskrat’s Revenge’ going up in flames?” Tabitha believed the more intricate the story, the better the chances that the authorities would buy it.
“Magic was at fault for the ship fire but we’ll meow that it was Pumps who started it.” Whiskers threw suspicion on the young black Persian.
“It wasn’t me! Tibbs was on the boat too. It would have been just as easy for him to start the fire.” Magic meowed in his defence.
“There were quite a number is cats on that ship. All of them here in this room. Depends who craved the Bird voraciously enough.” Tibbs added.
“Why burn the boat, though?” Tabitha asked.
“To find the Bird!” Whiskers, Magic and Tibbs answered in unison.
At Tabitha’s confusion, Whiskers explained, “If someone hides a valuable object, when there is a fire, they go straight to the object first, in order to save it. Everyone knows that! It’s what we’d all do.”
“I ran to save the treats”. Tibbs mentioned with pride.
“See . . .” Whiskers proved his point.
Tabitha understood now. Before she could continue with their framing of ‘The Tail’, he woke up with a start.
Pumpkin looked around the room. The others all stared back at him.
“I’m afraid, you’re going to kitty jail.” Whiskers told his brofur.
‘The Tail’ had no fight left in him. He sat, flat out and refused to budge.
“You have your ‘Fall Tom’,” Magic grinned. “Now, give us the Bird!”
“It’s coming. You’ll have to wait a tad longer.” Tabitha meowed.
“Waiting is NOT my strong point.” Whiskers added.
The doorbell rang and Tabitha went to answer it while the others waited in anticipation. Upon returning, Tabitha led Rocky into the room followed by Reggie, Patches and Skittles, whom carried a package.
“WTFLOOF?!!!” Tibbs let out.
“Good, everyone is here.” Tabitha grinned. “Now, let me explain what really happened . . . Patches, here, wanted ‘The Blue Bird’ because it was the last gift given to her by her love, LG . . .”
“My husband.” Patches corrected.
“Whatever?” Tabitha was not going to quibble over such a trivial fact. To her knowledge there had never been a Lady Graydon but that was neither here nor there. Tabitha continued, “Anyway, Twitter has been ruined for her, without the ‘Grey and White One’. So, she had to have the Bird. Reggie, in a bid to impress Patches, stole ‘The Bird’ so that he could get it back for Patches and she would be grateful enough to date him. Tibbs knew what Reggie was planning. But Whiskers wanted ‘The Bird’. So, Tibbs took it then tried to hold it for ransom and get as many treats as he could for it.”
“Rightfully, it’s mine.” Whiskers held out his paw.
Tabitha began to hand the package to Whiskers when another knock was heard. This time Skittles went to answer the door. She came back in with Bella, the press and the police.
“Where is it?” Bella barked.
Tabitha pointed to Whiskers, Magic, ‘The Tail’ and Tibbs, all surrounding ‘The Blue Bird’.
“Arrest them all!” Bella instructed the police. And while the authorities slapped the cuffs on the culprits, Bella addressed everyone, “Make sure you mention that this ring of thieves was captured by the fabulous operatives of #DDDDC. That’s ‘Deeds Done Doggone Dirt Cheap’”
As Patches sat weeping in the corner, Reggie comforted her. What an opportunity for him to try to win over the Babe.
Unfortunately, Patches turned on him and hissed, “You took my Bird!” Then she pounced and wrestled him to floor! The scuffled lasted as long as it took the police to nab him and Patches as well.
Skittles picked up ‘The Blue Bird’ and joined her colleague. She passed it along to Tabitha. Bella whispered to Tabitha, “Is that what this has been all about? What’s so special about that thing?”
Tabitha began to pull back the head of The Bird. Underneath the blue covering was a bird made out of nip.
Tabitha held up ‘The Blue Bird’ and announced, “This is the stuff that dreams are made of!”
Skittles was heard meowing, “Looks like catnip to me.”
“If nip be the mystery of love, detect on.” Tabitha waxed all Shakespearean.
The End
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
Tabitha went to #DDDDC HQ to give her boss the latest on the case. She needed to bounce some ideas off Bella, as the Bassett hound was a detached entity in this case.
Tabitha sat across from Bella. Before any information was shared they were joined by a familiar cat.
“Skittles?!” Tabitha meowed
“Where have you been?” Bella asked the obvious question.
“Chasing rabbits!” Skittles answered. Then she went into more detail, “I’ve been giving the third degree to Reginald. That is one cagey bunny. Eventually, he got distracted by a number of female rabbits and escaped. I tried to follow but I lost him.” Skittles frowned at the disheartening results of the last couple of days.
“What direction was he headed?” Tabitha wanted to know.
“Where the sky is blue.” Skittles replied enigmatically.
Bella turned her droopy eyes on the detectives and barked, “Huh?”
“When last I saw him, he was headed towards the waterfront. A very smoky waterfront.” Skittles answered.
“Sounds to me like he was using #DDDDC as a dating service!” Bella growled. She ran a serious detective agency. She did not want clients abusing the services.
Tabitha ignored the boss and enquired, “Were you near the ship ‘Muskrat’s Revenge’?”
“As a matter of fact . . .” Skittles began but was interrupted by the boss.
“Never mind about all that. I want to know what this case is about! The rabbit can find his lady love on Twitter, for all I care. But there is a mystery here and in order to solve it, we have to know what we’re looking for!” Bella seethed.
“I’d be guessing but I think this case is about all the missing cats jumping over to Blue Sky. And how even Tibbs is there. But he has something that’s keeping him close to The Blue Bird, too.” Tabitha conjectured.
“If this Tibbs is guilty of something, don’t for Cat’s sake get caught obstructing justice!” Bella warned.
*********
Tabitha went back to the office with Skittles. She filled her partner in and called Whiskers at his hotel but got no answer. So she sent Skittles down to the pier to find out what happened to the ship Muskrat’s Revenge.
Tabitha tried to get in touch with both Magic and ‘The Tail’ but it seemed no one was available at the moment. Very strange. She joined Rocky in the outer office.
“Are you going to look for Tibbs?” Rocky asked.
“Nope.” She answered.
“You have to. You can’t leave him to get into more trouble.” Rocky was worried about the big, dumb Tom.
“I don’t have to do anything. If he wants to switch social media platforms, that’s up to him.” Tabitha answered coolly.
As Rocky pouted, Tabitha swore and left the office.
Half an hour later, she returned. Entering the office just after Skittles, Tabitha had a great big smile on her face like the cat who got the cream.
Skittles asked, “What are you so pleased about?”
“Nothing.” Tabitha answered untruthfully. “Did you find out what happened to Muskrat’s Revenge?”
“Yep. Tibbs met with the Captain. So did Whiskers, Pumpkin (aka ‘The Tail’) and Magic.” Skittles opened her notepad and continued, “Apparently, ‘spitting and hissing’ was heard but the Captain told the harbour police that ‘everything was fine!’ All the suspects left and 5 minutes later the ship caught fire. The harbour fire brigade managed to put it out. No one was hurt.” Skittles finished her report.
“Just as I thought.” Tabitha claimed. She got no further before Boots staggered into the office. Rocky, Tabitha and Skittles all looked at each other.
“The Captain, I presume?” Tabitha deduced by the hat he wore.
Captain Boots seemed to be nipped to the gills. He lurched forward and did not meow a thing before he dropped to the floor. A package slid across the floor.
Rocky meowed in terror. Skittles leapt to her paws, ready to bolt. Only Tabitha had enough wherewithal to chase the package.
“Is he . . . ?” Rocky wanted to know.
“Yep. Nipped to smithereens!” Tabitha answered as she moved from the Captain. She placed the package on the desk.
“What do you think is in there?” Skittles asked eagerly.
Tabitha began to unwrap the package slowly. As she peeled away the packing bubbles, Rocky got distracted and started to pounce on the bubbles, popping them one by one. Then the phone rang and at Tabitha’s low growl, he went into the outer office to answer it.
“What is it?” Skittles asked again. The curiosity was driving her mad.
Tabitha got to the centre of the package and pulled out a statue of The Blue Bird. Tabitha began to laugh.
“What?” Skittles didn’t get the joke.
“Of all the luck . . .” Tabitha began.
Rocky rushed into the office and said, “That was Tibbs. He sounded desperate, like he was being tortured!”
Tabitha and Skittles looked at each other in resignation. Tabitha handed Skittles The Blue Bird which she placed it into the office safe. Then she told Rocky, “Phone Bella. Tell her everything that happened but don’t mention The Blue Bird. Bella will know what to do.”
“Come on, Skittles . . . Let’s go solve this crime.”
********
Tabitha and Skittles made their way to Whisker’s Hotel. They formulated a plan and discussed all the possibilities. As they waited outside room 345, no one answered so they made their way to Rocky’s place to keep him in the loop about the plan.
Rocky answered his door and let them in. He gave them a couple of saucers of milk. Skittles drank hers down but Tabitha could not bring herself to partake of the beverage after her recent experience. Skittles tucked into Tabitha’s drink.
“How’d it go with Bella?” Tabitha asked.
“All fine.” Rocky answered.
“You didn’t mention the parcel, did you?” Tabitha knew their plan revolved around this.
“Of course not! I’m not a big ‘fluff ball’!” Rocky used the slang expression for eggs whose brains were a tad scrambles. He had picked up such language from his idol, Tibbs. He continued, “I did see ‘The Tail’ in the hallway office, nebbing on us, though.”
“Did he follow you?” Tabitha looked through the curtains.
“No. He got a phone call on his iPhone and he left right away.” Rocky recounted the events.
“You’re very lucky. ‘The Tail’ is a loose canon. It could have ended very badly for you.” Tabitha added.
“I can look after myself.” Rocky’s show of bravado fooled no one.
“I think we should all go home and we’ll put our plan into action tomorrow.” Tabitha suggested.
“Good idea.” Skittles agreed. “I’d like some dinner anyway. I’m starving.”
“What plan?” Rocky asked.
Tabitha and Skittles explained the plan to him and left his apartment.
********
Tabitha went back to her place. She let herself in and turned on the lights. To her surprise, Tibbs sat on the chair facing the front door. His ears twitched furiously, pointing in the direction of the kitchen.
Before Tabitha could react, Whiskers, ‘The Tail’ and Magic all sauntered into the living room from the kitchen.
“I think we need to have a meow.” Whiskers announced.
Almost immediately ‘The Tail’ neared Tabitha and attempted to frisk her for any hidden weapons. She batted at him and hissed, “Put your paws on me again and you’ll never be able to eat a Lick-e-lix again!”
“Never mind, Pumps. Sit.” Whiskers defused the situation by ordering the fluffy tailed Persian about.
“I don’t trust that fluff ball!” Tabitha seethed. She made her way to the sofa and sat next to Tibbs. Meanwhile ‘The Tail’ took a position behind them so he could keep an eye on Tabitha.
“Have you got the Bird?” Whiskers began right away.
“Naturally.” Tabitha rubbed an ear. “You have the treats?” She continued. It appeared that their plan was about to be put into play.
Whiskers threw a huge package of Dreamies onto the coffee table. A few treats spilled out. Tibbs pounced on them and began scooping them up before the others had a chance. The table creaked and groaned under his weight.
Tabitha pulled him off before the table broke as Whiskers demanded, “The Bird?”
I think the price just went up. I need more treats.” Tabitha boldly insisted.
Magic stepped forward and hissed, “Let me remind you, Tabitha . . . you may have the Bird but we have you!”
“Let them have the stupid Bird. We’ll take the rest of the treats and get out of this mess.” Tibbs kept his eyes on all those treats.
“We’ll need a ‘Fall Tom’!” Tabitha was one step ahead of everyone else.
“Huh?” All the others returned in unison.
“Bella will want someone to pay for the mess this has caused. You can’t just come into #DDDDC and catnap one of our operatives.” Tabitha explained their plight.
Tibbs looked to Magic. Magic looked to Whiskers. Whiskers looked to ‘The Tail’. ‘The Tail’ licked his enormous tail and looked up at them all.
Tabitha continued, “Someone will have to take the rap for the disappearance of Skittles . . . and Reggie, the bunny.”
‘The Tail’ may have been slow but he understood that he was expendable. He made a dash for the door but Magic wrestled him to the floor. The fur flew as they tussled until Tibbs intervened and sat on the both of them. Magic was allowed to squeeze out from under the big, black cat.
“There’s your Fall Tom.” Whiskers stated. “Now, where’s the Bird?”
‘The Tail’ hissed and spit. He pleaded, “Teddy?!!! Mum will not be happy that you’ve framed me. I’m her favourite!”
Whiskers growled at ‘The Tail’ and whacked him on the head. “You are not Mum’s favourite, Pumps! I am!”
Magic butted in and claimed, “Neither one of you are. I am!”
While the Persians argued amongst themselves, Tabitha pulled out her iPhone and meowed, “I’ll make a call and get the ‘Bird’ here. She pushed a button and spoke into the phone, “Pick up the package and bring it to my place.”
*Make sure you read next week’s Finale!!!
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
The next day Tabitha got to the office before Rocky. She figured he probably had a rough night looking after Tibbs. Most likely ran out of food as well. As soon as she opened the door, the phone rang. She answered it, “DDDDC, can I . . .” She listened and answered, “I’ll be right over.” Tabitha grinned and headed out the door. Things were about it get interesting.
Tabitha made her way to the Cat Castle Hotel. She took the elevator up to the third floor as instructed and scratched at the door of room 345. She was a tad surprised to see ‘The Tail’ answer the door. She growled but recovered quickly when another Ginger Persian with unruly whiskers came to greet her.
“Come in . . . Come in! Would you like a saucer of milk?” The handsome, fluffy Tom offered.
“Sure.” Tabitha replied while giving nothing away.
‘Whiskers’ sent ‘The Tail’ off to retrieve the beverage. Then led Tabitha into the room. She followed but kept her distance.
“I like a feline who likes to indulge.” Whiskers chuckled.
‘The Tail’ brought in two saucers of milk and left the two to their discussion. “Here’s to plain meowing.” Whiskers grinned at Tabitha.
They both took a couple of licks, then Whiskers observed, “You don’t meow much.”
Tabitha twitched her ears and answered, “I like to meow. Just trying to figure you out.”
“Good . . . cause I distrust a quiet kitty. We’ll get along fine.” Whiskers sat in a cat bed and put a paw out for Tabitha to occupy the one next to him. She sat opposite him.
“Let’s meow . . .” Whiskers began.
“Shall we meow about The Blue Bird?” Tabitha got straight to the point.
Whiskers laughed and replied, “We will. We will. First I want to know if you’re here as Tibbs’ representative?”
“Not sure. It depends.” Tabitha intended to play this close to the bone.
“On what?” Whiskers wondered aloud.
“If I knew that, I could answer the question.” Tabitha remained enigmatic with her answers.
“Does it depend on Magic?” Whiskers asked.
He seemed to know all the players in this game. “Maybe?” Tabitha returned.
“I’m not sure . . . which one you represent?” Whiskers questioned just as cryptically.
“Maybe I just represent myself.” Tabitha shrugged her shoulders.
Whiskers laughed again and meowed, “Excellent. I like a feline who looks after themselves first.”
“Let’s get to the Bird.” Tabitha was tired of this cat and mouse game. Especially, when she was beginning to feel like the mouse.
“Yes. Do you know what it’s worth?” Whiskers asked.
“No.” Tabitha answered truthfully and took another lick or two of the milk.
“If I told you the half of it, you wouldn’t believe me.” Whiskers offered.
“Probably not.” Tabitha was bluffing and they both knew it. She drank some more to try to cover her ignorance.
“You don’t know what it is, do you?” Whiskers came straight out and asked.
“I know it’s a Bird.” Tabitha replied.
“Tibbs didn’t tell you?” Whiskers seemed surprised by this revelation.
“What price did they ask for it?” Whiskers wanted to know.
“10,000 treats but Tibbs was lying.” Tabitha exaggerated the price she was offered.
“Unbelievable!” Whiskers shook his head. Then he commented, “Maybe they don’t know what it’s worth?” He thought for a moment.
“But you do?” Tabitha inquired. Just then ‘The Tail’ rejoined them and Tabitha hissed and bristled, “Get rid of ‘The Tail’. I don’t like him. He reminds me of an annoying brofur.”
“I can’t. Pumpkin is here for a reason.” Whiskers returned.
“I’m leaving! You’ve got until 5:30 this afternoon to decide whether you want to tell me about the Bird!” And with that bold statement Tabitha left the room and the Hotel.
********
Tabitha waited in her office and at exactly 5:15 pm, ‘The Tail’ entered the office. “Whiskers wants to see you.” ‘The Tail meowed unemotionally.
“I wasn’t expecting you until 5:25pm.” Tabitha teased.
“Keep tormenting me and you’re gonna pick my claws out of your backside.” ‘The Tail’ threatened.
Tabitha laughed but the two of them left the office and went back to the Cat Castle Hotel. ‘The Tail’ ignored all of Tabitha’s witty remarks on the journey back to see Whiskers. So, as they stood in the hallway outside room 345, Tabitha took it upon herself to pounce on the sandy coloured Persian. She wanted to know if she could take him, in the event this meeting went terribly wrong.
Fur flew and then yowls. The commotion brought Whiskers to the door immediately. The interruption startled both fighting cats and ‘The Tail’ took the opportunity to scoot into the room and lock himself in the bathroom.
“That ‘fluff ball’ shouldn’t be allowed out.” Tabitha expressed her opinion of ‘The Tail’ to Whiskers.
He chuckled and replied, “You Madam are a dame worth knowing. Have a seat.”
Tabitha sat across from Whiskers who was obviously expecting her as two more saucers of milk were placed in front of both cats. They had a drink before Whiskers began, “ I’m sorry that young Pumpkin has gotten under your fur . . .”
Tabitha interrupted him and meowed, “Let’s get to the Blue Bird.” She had had it with all this skirting around the issue. Tabitha wanted answers and NOW!
Whiskers sneezed and took a moment, eyeing her all the while. Finally, he inquired, “What do you know about the Order Of The Nip?”
Tabitha raised her fur brows and answered truthfully, “Nothing. What do they have to do with the Blue Bird?”
“Let me tell you. The Order Of The Nip was a secret society run by a dodgy feline, who became famous via Twitter. Well, when Twitter was sold, she had an artist make a statue of the Blue Bird in honour of its demise. It’s an expensive work of art. When others found out it’s worth, it was promptly stolen. Everyone has been looking for it.” Whiskers explained.
“And now?” Tabitha yawned yet wanted the tale to go on. She had more of the milk to try to remain focused.
“I heard that the Blue Bird had been stolen in a heist involving a Tom called ‘The Dude’. So, I set out to find this nefarious scoundrel. The Dude and Reginald are friends, the next thing I know, Reginald had the bird and was selling it to Tibbs for the phone number of his ex-wife. Reginald is a bit desperate for a love interest, you see. Luckily, Tibbs was working for me at the time and I persuaded him to pass it on to me. Unfortunately, Tibbs realized that the Blue Bird was worth some money and he disappeared with it. I’ve been trying to catch up to him ever since. The fool has double-crossed me, once too often.” Whiskers seethed.
“So, you want to buy the Bird, no matter what?” Tabitha yawned again.
“Am I boring you?” Whiskers asked.
“No, no . . . Only I’m very tired, for some reason.” Tabitha continued to yawn her head off.
“Can you get the Bird from Tibbs?” Whiskers asked all agog.
“I’m sure I can. But how much are you willing to pay?”
“When I sell it, we can share the profits.” Whiskers grinned.
“Sounds reasonable.” Tabitha put her head down and promptly fell asleep.
*********
Tabitha woke up hours later and no one was in the room. She knew right away that she’d been nipped up and that Whiskers and ‘The Tail’ were probably after Tibbs and the Bird, right now. (If he had it?) She staggered out of the Cat Castle Hotel and made her way to the Catchpole Hotel. If Tibbs didn’t have the Bird then Magic did. Tabitha was determined to get it before the others.
According to Bernee, Magic was not in, so Tabitha seized the opportunity to search his room again. The Bird was no where to be found. However, there a bit of newspaper left on the floor. Just before Tabitha was about to use it to relieve herself on, she noticed that an item was circled. The article entailed information about a ship arriving from Sydney that very afternoon.
She found the litter box, relieved herself and headed to the office. Once she entered the office, she sent Rocky out to check on the Order Of The Nip. Then she called the waterfront office to see if the ship ‘Muskrat’s Revenge’ had arrived. It had.
Rocky returned soon after and reported that the tale Whiskers had spun was all true. Which pleased Tabitha.
Rocky began incessantly licking his fur.
“What’s with all the licking?” Tabitha asked.
“It’s ash.” He answered. “When I was checking on the Order Of The Nip, I was by the docks. One of the ships was on fire!”
Tabitha’s ears twitched. “Did you happen to see the name of the ship that was fire?”
“I did. It was called ‘Muskrat’s Revenge’.”
*This story has more twists than a pretzel! 🥨. Hmmmm . . . I wonder if they have cat treat pretzels? Stay tuned for another exciting chapter next week.
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
Tabitha got the zoomies and ran around the room working off some excess stress.
Tibbs watched her prance and pounce with a wide smile on his face.
When Tabitha finally lay down to catch her breath, Tibbs suggested, “You should have pulled Bella’s tail. She can’t go around treating you like that!”
Tabitha’s ears airplaned. “If I’d done that, Bella would have suspended me and that ridiculous story we came up with would be on my permanent record. I don’t want that. I love this job.”
“So, that’s why you let your Boss get away with such dog-like behaviour?” Tibbs observed knowingly.
Tabitha let the insult slide and asked a question of her own, “What are you and Magic up to?”
“We aren’t up to anything.” Tibbs replied.
“Maybe I should call him and get him back here?” Tabitha bluffed.
“I have to go home.” Tibbs nervously moved towards the door.
“Are you that afraid of what the black Persian might tell me?” Tabitha observed.
Tibbs stopped in his tracks and began doing what can only be described as a ‘fan dance’. “If you want, I can do this in a thong.” Tibbs offered in his most seductive meow.
Tabitha began hacking and she threw up a large furball but Tibbs would not be put off. He continued to wriggle and gyrate around the room. Finally, he meowed, “The bird is a statue. It is a reminder of the fun times we all used to have when Twitter was the best place, for us cats, to be. I wanted to save it for prosperity. Unfortunately, others wanted it for its value.”
“What’s it worth?” Tabitha asked.
“For sentimental reasons, it’s priceless. But you heard Magic. They are willing to pay 5000 treats for it. I cannot compete with that.”
“What’s it made of?” Tabitha wanted to know.
“It’s a solid mass of Lick-e-lix.”
“Liar!” Tabitha was not fooled by his answer. It just was not possible.
“You think I would lie about food? Oh Tabitha . . . I admit to the odd fit of exaggeration, now and then, but I have never embellished the importance of food!”
The night ended with a sleep over. In the morning, Tabitha arose early. She quietly rifled through Mr. Tibbs thong and other garments. She found a key. Tabitha exited her apartment without fuss.
********
Tabitha went to Mr. Tibbs’ room where low and behold the key fit. She had a quick but thorough search around his extensive thong collection. Which took up most of the time. It was vast, in more ways an one!
She rummaged through his treat supply and found it a bit more meagre than she would have imagined for such a BIG cat. Lastly, Tabitha clawed through the litter box in case, he had decided to hide the ‘bird’ in such an outlandish place. Nothing. She found nothing of value, except a rhinestone collar with the name ‘Cleo’ written on it.
Tabitha left the room and headed back to her apartment. She stopped off in the alley behind the restaurant near her building, to scrounge a bit of breakfast. Upon entering her apartment, she found Tibbs awake and hiding behind the sofa.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“When I woke up to find you gone, I thought they had made you disappear too. I was afraid they were coming back for me.” Tibbs answered apprehensively.
“It’s just me with some breakfast.” Tabitha held up a couple of bags filled with discarded chicken and fish. “I’ll get the bowls.” Tabitha walked into the kitchen while Tibbs had a sniff around the bags. His belly began to rumble. Tabitha returned and placed a bowl in front of Tibbs. She dished up the food and they both tucked in.
Tibbs finished off his meal and attempted to gobble up some of hers. Tabitha moved away and asked, “ About that bird?”
This stopped Tibbs munching the food. “What about it?” He inquired back.
Tabitha’s eyes narrowed at him as she commented, “Tough, huh? But she allowed him to finish off what was left in her bowl.
They left the apartment soon after and Tabitha noticed that ‘The Tail’ was no longer tailing them. She managed to slip Tibbs’ key back into his clothes and left him at his hotel.
Tabitha made her way to the Hotel Catchpole. Walking through the lobby, she spotted ‘The Tail’ sitting next to the potted catnip plant. She sidled over to him and asked, “Where is he?”
‘The Tail’ looked over at her and hissed, “What?”
“Where is he?” Tabitha repeated.
“Who?” ‘The Tail’ played dumb.
“The Catnip Fairy.” Tabitha shot back facetiously.
“Shove off, Pretty Girl.” ‘The Tail’ growled.
“You’ll have to meow with me sometime, you know.” Tabitha grinned at the young, sandy-coloured Persian.
“I told you to shove off.” ‘The Tail’ yowled loudly.
“This is my town, Fluff ball! I make the rules here.” She snapped at him.
‘The Tail’ glowered and his ears twitched wildly. “Bugger i ffwrdd! (‘Bugger off’ in Welsh)” He hissed.
Tabitha’s fur rose. She let out a low growl and meowed, “Be polite or suffer the consequences.”
‘The Tail’ flicked his fluffy back end towards her and let out a high pitched rumble.
Tabitha noticed the hotel detective, Bernee, hanging around the front desk. She motioned him over. “Bernee, you shouldn’t let these cheap ‘bolas de pelusa’ (fluff balls) in your hotel.” Tabitha told him.
Bernee took one look at ‘The Tail’ and chased him out of the hotel. ‘The Tail’ was heard to sneer, “I won’t forget you guys.” As he high-tailed it out of there. Bernee came back to stand next to Tabitha and asked, “Who was he?”
“An acquaintance of a black Persian staying here. Do you know who I mean?” Tabitha asked.
“The young fluffy Tom with the funny meow?” Bernee clarified.
“That’s him. How long has he been staying here?” She wanted to know.
“About 4 days.” Bernee answered.
“Did he sleep here last night?” She continued the search for answers.
“No.” Was the reply. “Should I keep my eyes on him?” Bernee was hoping to move from hotel detective to operative at #DDDDC and Tabitha knew it.
“It wouldn’t hurt.” She could use all the help possible and while Bella was the boss, Tabitha was happy to put a good word in for anyone willing to help her with the investigation.
Just then Magic entered the hotel and walked across the lobby floor. He appeared rough. His fur was a knotty mess and part of his left ear was drooping precariously lower than the other one.
Tabitha sidled up to him and kept in step with him. “Let’s talk somewhere.” She suggested.
Magic stopped in his tracks and looked around the lobby for an escape route. Tabitha grabbed his fur and pulled him back outside with her. They crept into the alley beside the hotel. She let him go and asked, “What happened to you?”
Magic did his best to lick away the remnants of his disheveled appearance. “I caught up with Bella after I left your house.” He began. But at Tabitha’s look of incredulity he claimed, “After we meowed a few words, I left her and was set upon by some thug cats. I don’t know who they were or what they wanted.”
“Really?” Tabitha did not believe a meow of it.
“I didn’t tell Bella anything about our meeting even though she tried to get me to meow the beans and admit that the load of codswallop we gave her last night was bunk.” He admitted.
“Make sure you keep it that way.” Was all Tabitha meowed.
********
Back at the office, Tabitha entered to find Rocky on the phone. He hung up and turned to Tabitha meowing softly, “Tibbs is here.”
“Is he? Any other revelations?” Tabitha commented snidely.
“Bella called earlier and there was a strange message from someone saying that ‘W’ called.”
“Who’s ‘W’?” Tabitha’s interested was piqued.
“I don’t know. That’s all the Tom meowed.” Rocky informed her.
“Get Bella on the phone.” Tabitha began but got no further before Tibbs rushed into the outer office meowing frantically, “Someone broke into my apartment.”
“How do you know?” Tabitha inquired.
“It was a mess.” Tibbs followed Tabitha back into her office. Tabitha knew she had not left his apartment that way. So, she asked, “Anything taken?”
“There was nothing to take.” Tibbs answered a tad defensively.
Tabitha sat down and thought a moment while Tibbs played nervously with the lamp shade on her desk. “It could have been Magic, I suppose . . .” Tabitha concluded. Then she called to Rocky in the outer office, “Did you reach Bella?”
Rocky stood in the doorway, “She wasn’t in.”
“It could have been Bella.” Tibbs meowed with trepidation.
“Hmmmm . . .” Tabitha gave nothing away.
“I can’t be alone. Can I come home with you? We make a fun couple.” Tibbs sidled closer to Tabitha.
Tabitha looked at Rocky who grinned knowingly. “You can spend the night at Rocky’s.” Tabitha deflated both Toms, in one fell swoop.
*This is getting interesting!!! Find out what next week entails!
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
Once inside the apartment Tabitha picked up the phone and dialed Magic’s number. She meowed, “I’ve got a proposition for you.” She listened and smiled then continued, “Tibbs is here. Come over and we might be able to work out a deal.” She paused briefly before continuing, “Drop by my place and we’ll see what we can do.”
Tabitha gave Magic her address and watched as Tibbs began pacing nervously again. Once she hung up, he stopped. She told him, “He’ll be right over. You still, want me to believe you don’t know Magic?”
“I . . . That is . . .” Tibbs stumbled over his meows.
Tabitha decided on another tactic, “Let me tell you about another client of mine. Without naming names, I once had a case involving a very handsome Tom who spent most of his time flirting with felines. The client had no idea that he was flirting, he just kept doing it whenever he didn’t want to tell the truth. He thought he was being clever.” Tabitha met and held Tibbs eyes.
Tibbs looked away first and asked, “That’s an interesting story but what does it have to do with me?” Then without a second to draw breath Tibbs added, “You look extremely pretty tonight, Tabs Babe. This detecting game suits you.”
There was a knock at the door so that Tabitha did not have time to respond to the black cat’s pathetic attempt at charm which naturally oozed out of Tibbs. Instead, she answered the door and brought Magic into the room.
Magic kept a weary distance from Tibbs but addressed Tabitha. “ ‘The Tail’ is watching the building.”
This made Tibbs jump and scamper to the window. With paws on the sill, he meowed, “Who is it? What’s he doing?”
Magic smirked knowingly. This was exactly the reaction he hoped to illicit from the huge black Tom. “How nice to see you again.” He directed at Tibbs.
Tibbs glanced at Tabitha to see if she took note of Magic’s meows. He could not tell so he blustered on, “Tabs told me you offered her a lot of treats for the . . . Bird. Do you have the treats now?” Tibbs knew perfectly well Magic did not.
“I can get them here.” Magic replied quickly. “I’d like to see the Bird with my own eyes first.”
“I don’t have it.” Tibbs narrowed his eyes. He was prepared to play the game. “Reginald had it. It’s wherever the rabbit put it.”
“Where is Reggie?” Magic wanted to know.
Tibbs shrugged.
“Tell me!” Magic’s back began to arch.
Tibbs sidled up to him as he meowed, “You tell me?”
And that began a hissing and wrestling match which Tabitha sat back and watched.
She let them go at each other for a full 5 minutes before finally separating them. The two Tom cats sat breathing heavily in opposite corners of the room.
Another knock on the door broke the suspicion and tension between them.
Tabitha answered the door once more and preceded Bella into the room. By the time they reached Magic and Tibbs the boys had continued their fracas.
Bella barked, “Who are these felines?!”
********
Bella and Tabitha allowed the Toms to roughhouse some more. Then Bella stepped up and barked at them causing the cats to scatter. “Stop it!”
Magic fled to the furthest corner and rubbed his ears. “He attacked me!” He told everyone in the room.
“I had to mark him with my claw! I’m no pushover-over!” Tibbs insisted, “But he started it!”
“Fibbs!” Magic shot back.
“Don’t call me that!” Tibbs’ back arched upwards.
Bella looked from one to the other! She finally faced Magic and asked, “Why are you here?”
Magic took a big gulp and continued to lick his paws and rub his ears. He needed the time to think of a plausible excuse. “These two, obviously, called me here in order to ambush me. I have brofurs, I know what that’s like but I didn’t expect it of Miss Tabitha. Who knows what might have happened to me, if you hadn’t arrived? I’d, probably, go missing like Reggie and that other detective. They’re in it, together!” Magic pointed his claw between Tibbs and Tabitha.
Bella let out a soft growl. “I want the truth!” She demanded.
Tabitha finally decided enough was enough. She confessed, “Everything can be explained.”
“Do so . . .” Bella bid.
“I was hired by Tibbs, here.” She indicated the fat, black cat doing his best to exude confidence but failing miserably. “Magic is a friend of Reggie and I assumed he would be willing to spill the beans about what happened to the rabbit and Skittles.” Tabitha explained further.
Bella’s eyes bore into Magic. “Where’s Skittles?” She asked. Magic merely nodded, to go along with the story, but he refused to elaborate any further.
Tabitha began to laugh. Everyone else in the room looked at her as if she had lost her mind.
Bella asked, “What’s so funny?”
Tabitha stepped closer to Bella and meowed, “He doesn’t know anything.”
“Of course, I don’t.” Magic confirmed.
“Why meow that he knows where Skittles is, then?” Bella wondered.
“We wanted to see how much of this silly story you would believe.” Tibbs answered. “It was my idea. Silly stories are my stock in trade.”
All the cats began laughing. Bella did not find any of it remotely amusing. She let out a slow growl.
“Maybe I should put this ridiculous story on my blog? ‘How 3 Cats Made a Fool of a D O G.’ I’m sure it would break the internet.” Tibbs continued to snicker and snort.
“Mol . . . It might look bad for dogs everywhere.” Magic added. “Mind you, dogs are people pleasers and need to be taken down a peg.”
Tabitha watched her boss as the ribbing continued.
Finally, Bella got fed up and growled, “I want their names and addresses. So I can have them both investigated thoroughly.
“I’m staying at the Hotel Catchpole.” Magic offered up.
“Fat boy?!” Bella bared her teeth.
“Anything you want to know about Tibbs, you can ask me!” Tabitha stood up to her boss. This did not please Bella.
Bella grabbed Tabitha’s tail and seethed, “Be very careful, Pussycat! I’m still your boss . . . for right now.” And with that Bella headed for the door.
As soon as the Bassett hound left, Magic meowed, “If the party’s over . . . I’m going too.”
Once he shut the door, it left Tabitha alone with Tibbs in her apartment.
*Holy Moly . . . Find out WTFLOOF that was about next week!
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/
Today I’m starting a new mystery story for you all. Each week I shall post a chapter to keep you, my loyal fans, entertained. I hope you enjoy this exciting tale!
Chapter 1
Private Eye, Ms Tabitha, works for the Deeds Done Doggone Dirt Cheap detective agency. She’s a pretty tabby with a determination to get to the truth. Her branch office is open to all and she will take on all cases.
The day in question found her at the desk. Her secretary (& brofur, Rocky) knocked on the door to her office. “Yes?” Tabitha inquired.
Rocky stuck his head into the office and meowed, “There’s a Tom here to see you. Name of Tibbs.”
Ah, an active case. Tabitha had not had much to do these last couple of days. “Send him in.” She bid.
Rocky led an enormous black, domestic shorthair through the doorway. As a bit of a Twitter celebrity, everyone knew of Tibbs, so Rocky was a bit in awe of his idol.
Tabitha shoo-ed her brofur out the door and motioned towards the cat bed. “Have a seat, Mr. Tibbs.”
Tibbs had a sniff of the bed and finally plopped onto it.
“What can I do for you, this fine day?” Tabitha was anxious to get this case underway. She knew that Bella, the big Boss, would be impressed by the notoriety a case such as this would bring to the agency.
“I’d like to hire you to find my sisfur, Patches.” Tibbs began. He bit his lip nervously but continued, “She-😈 is a bit of a ‘fluff ball’, troublemaker, as you might know. I fear this time, she may have gotten in over her head.”
“Patches? Patches?” Tabitha ruminated. “The name sounds familiar but there are loads of cats who go by that name. How will I know her?” She needed further information and got out a pen and paper in order to make some notes.
“Oh, you can’t mistake my sisfur . . . She’ll be the one surrounded by Nip fumes.” Tibbs explained. “She went off on a bender and I haven’t seen her for days. Our human is away at the moment and left me in charge. Patches is Mom’s favourite. If I don’t get her back before the human comes home, I may not receive any more treats! I can’t have that!”
Tabitha’s eyes widened! This was serious. “She has a thing for a certain grey and white BSH, doesn’t she?” Tabitha asked and at the answering nod, she continued with, “When, exactly, was the last time you saw her?”
Tibbs’ fur bristled. “I heard she was at the Feline Furriend Inn. So, I went in search of her there but when I knocked on the door of the room she was supposed to be occupying, a cheeky, wild-hared, grey, rabbit named, Reginald, answered the door. He claimed to have never heard of Patches. But EVERYONE knows Patches! When I pushed him for more info, he finally admitted that she had been there but was not there now. He did mention that she was happy and well but didn’t want to see me or anyone!”
“Not even LG?” Tabitha remembered the details regarding this cat’s obsession.
“That’s what I asked.” Tibbs admitted. “Reginald didn’t seem to know who LG was!”
Before Tabitha could react to this shocking bit of news, in walked her #DDDDC partner, Skittles.
“Well, hello there, Tibbs.” She seemed to know the new client too.
“Skittles, Babe . . . I didn’t know you still worked for #DDDDC.” Tibbs winked at the multi-coloured American shorthair, with piercing green eyes.
“What’s going on?” Skittles was also a dedicated detective. In fact, she was dogged (🙀) in her pursuit of helping to ferret out the truth.
“Tibbs’ sisfur, Patches, is on a bender . . .” Tabitha began to explain.
“Again?” Skittles interrupted.
“I need to find her.” Tibbs blinked a few times in Skittles’ direction.
Skittles blushed and asked, “Do you want ME to tail her?”
“If you would. I overheard Reginald making a date with her for tonight. If you could follow them and tell me where they end up, I’ll be able to pounce on the She-😈 and drag her home.” Tibbs turned the charm on, full blast, and directed it towards Skittles while Tabitha sat back and watched the train wreck. She had heard about the power of Tibbs flirting. She was not going to be sucked in by it.
Tibbs paid 50 treats and left the detectives to sort out the details.
“Sorry, if I butted-in on your case, Tabs. But that Mr. Tibbs is hard to resist when he pours on the charm.” Skittles apologized.
“Yes, some kitties cannot handle the onslaught. You take the lead, if you like. But be very careful. Tibbs is a known philanderer.” Tabitha warned as she popped 5 of the treats into her mouth. They were good.
“I’ll put the rest of our payment away before you eat all the profits.” Skittles remarked as she placed the treats in the office safe.
Tabitha growled but the annoyance of the partnership festered. It might be time to put an end to this affiliation?
*********
Tabitha worked late that night. She sat chewing her claws and looking out the window of her office. Her mind replayed the events of the afternoon’s visit from Tibbs and everything leading up to this very moment in time.
The phone rang, startling her. As she was alone, having sent Rocky home for the night, Tabitha answered the phone “Deeds Done Doggone Dirt Cheap Detective Agency, Private Eye Tabitha meowing . . . How can I help you?” She listened for a moment and continued. “Yes, Skittles is my partner. Are you sure? I’ll be right there!”
Tabitha flew out of the office, nearly forgetting to lock up. Fifteen minutes later she found herself in an alley outside the Feline Furriend Inn. Scraps of food and treats were scattered everywhere but no signs of Skittles, Patches, Reginald or Tibbs.
The hotel detective sniffed around the alley as Tabitha approached. Sammy, the tan coloured, domestic Tom nodded in her direction.
“Are you sure they’ve all gone?” Tabitha needed to know the truth.
“They have disappeared.” Sammy answered.
“All of them?” Tabitha inquired.
“Yep.” Sammy began scooping up what was left of the treats. No need for them to go to waste.
Tabitha watched him closely as she surveyed the scene of the crime. “I better let the Boss know.” She finally meowed. Tabitha took out her iPhone and rang the programmed number. “Rocky, do me a favour . . . Call Bella and ask her to meet me at my place. There’s been a development. Give me a couple of hours before you call her, though.” She listened to Rocky complain about the hour and how his nap was interrupted, then she meowed, “ Just do it!” And hung up.
Tabitha turned to Sammy and meowed, “I’ll have a look around here. You go back to the hotel.”
Sammy nodded and replied, “I’ll be at work until the morning, if you have any further questions.”
“Righty-O. That’s purrfect.” Tabitha watched as he sauntered back to the Inn where he was the in-house detective. She began rummaging around the trash cans.
********
Hours later, Tabitha finally let herself into her flat. She went straight to her stash of nip and indulged in the calming aroma.
“What happened tonight?” The question made Tabitha jump.
“Who . . . ?” Tabitha narrowed her eyes towards the darkened corner of the room.
Bella, the Bassett hound and her Boss at #DDDDC, emerged into the dimly lit room. “Where’s Skittles? I can’t get in touch with her.”
“She’s disappeared.” Tabitha repeated the information she had been given.
“You better find her!” Bella growled.
“I have the Tibbs case to look into.” Tabitha reasoned.
“Skittles is your partner. You’d be advised to find her first.” Bella was keen to look after her employees.
Tabitha moved away from the nip and meowed, “I think Skittles’ disappearance is connected to the Tibbs case. If I solve his case, I’ll be able to find Skittles.” Tabitha explained in a rational manner.
“I don’t like this. Finding Skittles should be your priority.” Bella took out a pipe, stuffed some of the catnip in it and lit it up.
“I’ll find her. But this other case is very intriguing.” Tabitha admitted.
“If you meow so. By the way, where have you been? Rocky called me ages ago, to tell me to meet you here.” Bella began to feel lightheaded with each puff.
“Oh . . . I . . . I’ve been walking around trying to clear my head and think about what could have happened tonight.” Tabitha answered unconvincingly. She purposely omitted to tell the Boss that she had gone to Reginald’s room in order to gets some answers as to the whereabouts of Skittles. She had to sneak into the room via an open window and knew this was cat-like behaviour that Bella would never approve of.
Instead, she put on a false smile and walked Bella to the door as she told her Boss, “I’ll get to the bottom of this mystery.”
Make sure you come along next week to see what happens!
*If any of my work entertains or amuses and you fancy being a patron of the arts, feel free to tip/donate. Your support is very much appreciated . . . https://thejoyofcats.wordpress.com/1896-2/